IN the name of the father, the son and all that is mangled, seasoned, and stuffed into a casing--I am absolutely thrilled that "Top Chef" is back on the air! And better than ever, as one of its primary components of tension this year is the spicy yet intimidating mix that IS New York City.And some brilliant, brilliant producer (who is probably 14 years old and has text messaging capability inserted in the skin beneath her forearms) decided to further mix it up by adding some Europeans. With impeccable timing, it's being done just as NYC has become the world's Walmart, with people jetting over here to buy luxury goods at 40% off their price at home. An economic war is being waged, and it is on our home turf: Now THEY are overpaid, oversexed, and over here.
And I do mean oversexed! The entire episode was woven together with soundbites that seem to be lines from bad porno films or medical guides to sexually transmitted diseases.
Examples:
* Guest judge, a woman I can't help but like: "Gimme a good chorizo and I'm happy!"
* A diner, on how the food made him feel dirty, dirty: "It's a terribly slimy feeling on the tongue afterward."
* Chef Hosea, a big goateed boy, gives us the downlow on his offering: "lumpy, little, short sausages." And he was right--those poor mangled meat bits looked like a botched circumcision on a plate.
*Fabio, whenever he's not recounting some damn Italian parable about dragons and princesses, "I love hotdog! I know how make sausage!" It's like an opening line for a deli-based porno.
Absolutely divine. Padma's still stoned out of her gourd, Tom Coliccio is still oddly attractive (and I suspect the two of them of bangin' sausage into casing in the refrigerated walk-in). They will even be having a guest judge in Toby Young, an english wanker of the first degree who never seems to know when he is being profoundly inappropriate.
Excellent.
BBP--Today I go back to the doctor. Taking it step by step.
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