Day 51, Be Brave Project; Classical Cont'd

I just applied for the deferment of my student loan. . .I am picturing thousands of people around the country doing the same just now; men unaccustomed to not being in suits at this time of day, women who've anxiously been clinging to their jobs for the sake of the benefits and who now have to pay for the 'benefits' themselves, despite the lack of salary--because being born a citizen isn't enough to get your child medical care in this country.

It's going to be a bumpy change, this. This adjustment from the lop-sidedness of the world of late, with the US as the only 'super-power' getting fatter, more indifferent and arrogant at every turn. We are going to have to share the power, and it'll probably end up being one of the best things that have happened to us in a long while. China and Europe will have to step up--China with great (and worrying?) willingness, Europe with slightly less willingness--it was nice to have America to bail out the world, and to blame when we didn't do so. But no longer. They are now the United States of Europe, running their empire on a far, far more evolved scheme than we are. And we Americans can get a little thin and nervous, perhaps stop fearing education as we learn that education teaches us what not to fear.

Anyway, it's a bumpy ride right now and reminds me of the old Chinese curse: May You Live in Interesting Times. BUT back to our scheduled programming, more because I need to get my mind around this than because anyone out there gives a rat's ass--------

An Introduction to Three-Act Structure, Cont'd!

Yesterday we left our heroine at the cliff's edge of Act 1, point 2: The Inciting Incident. Now we get to . . .

3. The First Act Turning Point. The first major turning point in the story, this event is where the entire first act has been headed. It usually turns the story around in an unexpected direction and contains an element of surprise. The main character is pushed deeper into the problem, and there are new complications which make the problem more difficult and more pressing. This leads to (or is) a moment of internal decision on the part of the main character from which they take their first step that will lead them towards the story's resolution. The conflict has been set up and something must be done about it causing the main character to choose a course of action that DRIVES the narrative of the story into the second act. At this point the MAIN TENSION of the story (see Tools of Screenwriting) can usually be recognized.

Hmm. Hm. I need to see about getting that TOS book. I also need to think about what A's move would be after seeing her ex--let's call him Martin--at the club. What would she do? She's a drunk--so she would really, really tie one on. And wake up the next day to find. . .what? What might she have done?

Could she find herself having passed out on the sofa of M's only friend? She could have drunkenly gone to find the guy, thinking M. might be there. He wasn't. A. had shown up with some tough pretty boy on her arm, and Martin's friend, (who could be a good character?) got rid of him. . .A opens her eyes. She's on the sofa.

What has she learned? What can he tell her? How do we get her out of the US and to London to track down M? (Is there any reason for her to go to London apart from the reason that I want to write about it? Not that that's not reason enough--cheaper than airfare. But must come up with a reason.)

OKAY. So the First Act Turning Point occurs at the End of the First Act, when the main character not only recognizes that the status quo is fucked up, but decides to do something about it. In this case, she goes to search for Martin, who she thought was dead. Turns out he's been living in London. . .

So had it been he that she saw at the club?

And how does this best friend fit in?

Be Brave Project: Day 17. Dreams and Schemes and Flying Machines

Just woke up from a dream I repeatedly have. . . I am flying home from Europe, and the plane makes a series of straining, popping noises as it takes off. Passengers and the flight attendant make jokes about it the danger, but I am terrified. Next to me is an American businessman who doesn't like Europe and wants to go home. Behind me is an old female friend.

As the flight continues the plane doesn't rise above the old city--it flies low and weightily over narrow streets and between buildings, with wings tilting to avoid tearing off against their facades, then suddenly the plane's nose turns up and we head straight straight straight towards the sky at a dizzying speed, and I'm pressed back in my seat by the force--then, as the plane seems to level off and begin to fly normally thousands of feet above the ground, there is a sudden tumble and rush as it plummets, as the views from the window are smeared blurs, possibly our final view. As the plane falls toward the narrow city streets, the pilot (who is a woman) attempts a landing--but the wheels don't come out. We're moving faster and faster, the plane is level but heading for the ground, the city road beneath us. . .enormous sparks fly up when the undercarriage scrapes the ground. . .we bounce. . .

And the dream ends.

Forgot to mention that for some reason, lately, Carson Kressley of the cancelled show Queer Eye is the flight attendant. This dream is obviously a control dream, a wanting to escape fantasy of fear. . .and I think that the woman who pilots the plane is actually me. (It must be admitted that there have been versions of the dream in which I am outside of the airplane, straddling the cockpit--Dream interpreters need not apply.)

I think the dream was, this time, a response to my having qualified for the first time at my Home group AA meeting. It's a fairly unnerving and exposing thing to do--I don't really want people to know my boring-ass story. Unlike many women in the rooms, I wasn't raped. I wasn't sexually abused. I didn't try to commit suicide or cut myself, though I did think about the latter. I just. . .drank. And learned how to drink some more. And, like some George once sang-- (Foreman or Thorogood or Bush, or for all I know, all three Georges)--I drank alone.

So that was my brave act for the day. Telling my story and then sitting with the feelings and regrets that brought up. "We learn not to regret the past", they keep telling me.

I think that the Be Brave Project might help me get there, but right now I'm feeling impatient and underslept. So if someone gives me that line about learning not to regret the past, my answer right now would be: "Oh Yes? When?"